The season of Sophie Ann

I thought of you when the cool fall air hit my face this morning.

I thought of you when I held a friend's baby who has been diagnosed with Trisomy 21, Down Syndrome.

I thought of you when a little girl ran up to me and thought I was her mother.

I thought of you when the high school football games kicked off.

I thought of you as I took care of a little one's scratched knee.

I thought of you when I was dusting and carefully cleaned off the plate that displays your footprints of life.

I thought of you as I drove down Hwy 431, and passed the road that led to your grave.

I thought of you when I went to the Doctor's office this morning and I saw your picture on his wall.

I thought of you when we sang about heaven at church.

I thought about you when someone asked me how many children I have.

I thought about you when I cleaned out Hope's closet and noticed we had missed a spot when we were painting her room. It was the brown that was used for an office in place of your nursery.

I thought about you when I saw my neighbor's child who was born near your birthday.

I thought about you when I put on a pair of shoes that I wore during your pregnancy.

I thought about you when I flipped open my Bible and saw your footprints.

I thought about you when I watered the plant that was given to us at your funeral.

I thought about you when I was looking for Hope's birth certificate, but instead a box of memories fell out of the closet and onto the floor.

I thought about you when I went to sleep last night. I wondered what you were doing. I thought about silly things like, did someone brush your beautiful hair, or play dolls with you?? But, all that's silly.

You are with our Creator. The most wonderful daddy of all. As I approach this season, the time that was most difficult for our family, may I focus my thoughts on my Heavenly Father on every remembrance of you.

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you" Phil. 1:3

School is BACK!

Schooling has been one of top things that Carlton and I have prayed about as a parent. (yes, I know the teenage years will bring about a whole new list of prayer topics). But, as of today, second to descipling and training our children in the word of God, school is at the top of the list.

It's a BIG deal to us. For a lot of reasons.

As previous educators, we both know the impact the classroom teacher has on a child. So, releasing our children to another person for eight hours a day is a BIG deal! We started off this journey home-schooling. And it was a joy. Yes, there were days when I thought HG and I would pull out each other's hair, but overall, it was a wonderful experience. We made a pact (Carlton and I ) to evaluate each child at the end of each year and determine what would be best for them (and our family) for the next school year. Last year, Noah began kindergarten in our local public school. And he thrived. Mid-way of last school year, we decided to enroll Hannah Grace. Lily was having a tough time at home adjusting to the new baby, and she needed me. All of me. Hannah Grace had a wonderful year. She proved to be a great leader and soared in all of her school work.

This year, both Noah and HG are attending our local public school and we could not be happier with both of their teachers. We are very, very excited!!! We have perfect peace that they are right where they need to be! Here are some pictures of the first week back at school.

Oops! In the madness of the morning, I did not spell build correctly. Shame on me! LOL

Lily is going to be at home with me this year, and I am going to start something NEW with her! I would love to hear your feedback if you are familiar with what I am about to discuss. Most of you know, that I LOVE to teach math. I began tutoring math in college and have been privately tutoring in my home for the last 13 years! I have so many math tricks up my sleeve, I should write a book. LOL But, second to teaching math, I LOVE teach a child how to read. I suppose the 4 years I spent in a first grade classroom sealed the deal, because reading is basically what we did all day! Learning how to read, opens up countless opportunities for a child to learn! Once you learn how to read, it's hard to imagine what it was like before. When Carlton and I went to China, I experienced just that. Everywhere we went, we had no clue what anything said! We couldn't read bathroom signs, restaurant menus, road signs, hotel receipts, NOTHING! We could have signed our life away on some document and never known it! Thankfully, we had interpreters for most of our trip. But, think about a person who cannot read! How vulnerable they must feel. I personally believe that most children can learn how to read by age 4 1/2. They are little sponges and their brains are ready! Once they learn to read, their whole world opens up!



I am a huge advocate of phonics, so with my two oldest children, I used the Sing, Spell, Read, and Write program. AND OH BOY! It is my FAVORITE. They were both reading before kindergarten. I have used it with many children that I tutor who were struggling readers and have seen huge success! To me, it's just a no-fail program.



However.

I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed. Change.

And I have found a book (method) that has such rave reviews, I just cannot HELP MYSELF, I need to try this! I know that someone out there has used this....it's as old as can be. So...feedback would be great!




So....our goal for Lily, is to have her reading by the end of December. Is that 100 days?? LOL She is ready. She knows all of her letters and sounds and is already blending three letter words. She just needs me to take some time with her. Can we say books for Christmas???

OK...off to organize my pantry. With all this couponing, things are getting out of hand in there! LOL

Hopes first birthday

My baby turns ONE!

Oh Happy Day!

We had a small birthday party for our sweet Hopey this weekend. It's hard to believe that this time last year, she was just a little bitty newborn. My, how time flies! As I reflect back over this year, I have no regrets! I soaked up every little moment and kissed those pretty lips probably too much! I enjoyed her like no other baby. What a gift we have been given.

"Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him." Psalm 127:3

Hope had a few of her friends over for an afternoon pool party. It was super hot outside...gotta love this smokin' hot Alabama weather! We had a great time of swimming, eating cake and opening presents.

I do want to mention one little incident that I don't want to forget.

I dressed Hope in her little birthday outfit, including ruffled socks and pink shoes. I was so excited because I never put shoes on her. (And they actually matched and all.) It was most cute. Not long after getting her dressed, she began screaming uncontrollably. This really is not like her at all. I offered her a bottle, some juice, even a cookie and nothing would stop her screaming. At this point, we thought she was having terrible gas pains because she was pulling up her feet and clenching her fist. The thought crossed my mind that we might have to call the party off...she was screaming THAT MUCH. Carlton gets in the van and zooms off to the pharmacy to get her some gas drops. After about 15 more minutes of screaming, I sat down with her and tried to rock her and rub her belly. But, Hope would not have it. She sits up, looks at me, and points to her shoes and screams again. I thought to myself, "No way, Hopey, you can't be throwing this kind of fit because you are wearing shoes."

She. So . Was.

I took her socks and shoes off and she smiled at me. Not another tear.

And no, her shoes were not too small or tight.

I just have a child who doesn't like shoes, I suppose. This should be interesting come Mid-October.

And.. here we are after our shoe melt-down. We had both worked up a sweat from all that fussin'.

Ok...back to the party.

Here are a few pictures of our fun weekend:

Hope wanted to share some with cousin Ada. Ada dove right in!!! I think Noah thought that was just hilarious.

This was a banner with pictures from each month of her first year.

Enjoy the video in the post below!

Finally some answers!!!

There is no possible way that we can afford Lily's medication. But, really, who can afford $2500/month for medicine? If you can, good for you. But, not us. It's not even an amount we can adjust our budget to fit. It's just impossible.

I was in total despair when I learned about the cost. I remember I cried as I told Carlton, "its just not right....we adopted her...we chose her....and now we can't even afford her medicine." He quickly reminded me of the alternative of her still sitting in that awful, lifeless orphanage....without any hope of ever receiving any medical help. It's true. How stupid of me.

And so we started praying! And not very long after, He heard our prayers.

After several denials, the insurance approved her medicine. Her co-pay is now $150/month. It's still a lot of money for us each month, but we know God is faithful and will supply our every need. What He has called us to, He is faithful to see us through!

The meds are shipped to our front door packed down in ice. I was quite frightened to open the box when it arrived. I felt like there was some kind of nucleur bomb in there just waiting to explode!! They also ship all the supplies to give her the shots each night. She takes the shots 6 days per week.



And my Lily is the bravest girl around. She shed one tear the first night of her shots while we were being guided by a nurse over the phone. This mama(who happens to be extremely phobic of needles and blood), took a deep breath and administered the shot. I am now Nurse Aimee, thank you very much. I am quite good at it. Every night after that, she just smiles and says, "this shot will make me grow!!!" She always reminds us to give her the shot each night. How can this Lily girl be so brave? My little one has been through so, so much.



And can we hear a shout out for Lily growing 1cm. in 10 days??? Yay for Lily!!!


In other news, guess who is turning ONE tomorrow?? Here is a sneak peek of one of the pictures that I took........


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Just what is the problem, Doc?

We asked for a child with special needs.

In China, you can request special needs or non special needs. When we began the journey of adoption in May of 2007, we requested a non-special needs child. Looking back, I think we were so overwhelmed with the whole adoption "process", that it basically just freaked us out at the thought of traveling to the other side of the world and adopting a child with medical "issues". The unknown can be quite frightening.

Shortly after we started the adoption process, I found out that I was pregnant with Sophie Ann. Who knew that 3 months later we would learn that our Sophie Ann was a special needs child. Her needs were so great, that they took her life.

It put so much in perspective.

After some time in prayer, we called our adoption agency. We told them, "Change our form. We want a child with special needs. In fact, we ONLY want a child with special needs."

We saw Lily's face in late August of 2008.



I remember that day like it was yesterday! My hands were shaking as I took the paper off the fax machine at Acker Electric. Carlton and I had already committed to accept the file on the drive up to the office. We knew she was the one. I took one look at her and fell to my knees! She was just as I imagined. I stared at her face over and over and over. I was looking at MY daughter, who just happened to be sitting in an orphanage, alone, without a mama to hold her, that was on the other side of this planet! Talk about feeling helpless!!! That was the worst feeling!!! I can only compare it to that feeling you get when you can't find your children in a crowd. You know that feeling?? Like you wanna puke? Yep. That's how I felt. Nervous, anxious and helpless.



We looked over her medical file and her "major" special need was "missing left hand". Um....OK. Not so major to us. So, she doesn't have a hand. We got this. The only other "small" issue was that she was tiny. Well, aren't all Chinese girls tiny? We didn't give it a second thought. We accepted her file. Honestly, when you know it is the child for you, medical issues just don't matter.

So, began the long journey of "waiting". And you all know the rest of the story.

We blogged about our trip HERE.

When we got back to the States, Lily had a TON, a TON, did I say a TON of medical test run! The doctor at the international adoption clinic mentioned that she was small, but we assumed that some good nutrition would get her growth going. We watched and waited. And waited. And every now and then, she would grow a tad and we would celebrate.

But, mama's gut thought something just wasn't right. We were referred to a pediatric endocrinologist.

We tracked her growth for 2 years. I even made my own spreadsheet to keep up with every little centimeter that she grew.

After 2 years, the doctor said, "Alright Ms. Lily, something is not right. You are not growing like you should. We need to do more tests." So, we scheduled what they call a Stim test. Basically, she was given an IV for 4 hours and pumped with medicines that would stimulate her pituitary gland. She had to fail 2 out of the 7 tests to qualify for growth hormone therapy. I prayed that she would pass with flying colors or fail all 7 tests. I needed confirmation that giving her growth hormones was the way to go.

Lily during her Stim test.

5 days later, while on vacation, Lily's doctor called and told us that she had failed all 7 tests. She said Lily was in desperate need of medication for this. Her doctor has given her the diagnosis of Idiopathic Short Stature We do not know what has caused her body not to produce the growth hormone. Two options could be, trauma to her head during birth, or it could simply just be just one of those rare things that happens. The Doctor has recommended an MRI to rule out anything major which will be done in late August. She also told us that she would be contacting the insurance company. She prepared us for a battle. She told us to expect a denial. Or maybe two. The costs for Growth Hormone Therapy hovers around $2,500 EACH MONTH. I seriously almost choked. I think I did. I do remember the doctor asking me if I was still there.

What? Are you kidding me? I thought if we paid those high premiums each month, we were taken care of? You are gonna deny us , just because? Um....I. Don't. Think. So. Buddy.

Little did our insurance know who they were up against! A mama who would not stop until her baby got the medicine she needed.

And so the battle began.




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A Familiar Place

It took me 20 minutes to type this sentence.

It might take me 2 hours to write this post.

So. DEEP BREATH. Here we go!!!!

Welcome to my blog. My new blog!

Like that title, BEAUTIFUL CHAOS? It's a new title for us...We have been previously known as "A Journey of Hope". Wanna know the story behind our new title?

Back a few weeks ago, when I played with the thought of doing a "public" blog, I asked Carlton, "Hey Babe, if you could give our family a 'title' what would it be? I told him I had a title in mind and we could compare each others and decide on a name. 10 minutes later, I gave him another little nudge and said, "So...you got one? What is it?" He looked at me and said, "OK, I got it. You tell me yours, and I will tell you mine. " And you just won't believe that somehow , someway, we came up with similar titles.

I said, "Organized Chaos." (Cause ya'll all know I like my things in order, including my kids. Hee hee.)

He said, "Beautiful Chaos."

It's very interesting that we both used "chaos" in our titles. But, I love how Carlton sees it as beautiful. Because it is. This sometimes crazy chaotic life is beautiful in so many ways. And that's what I want this blog to reflect...... that amidst the shuffle of this hectic, busy life, underneath lies beauty. Beauty that God has been and IS orchestrating in the Weathers' household!

It has been 2 years and 6 months since my last post on my public blog of the journey with our daughter Sophie Ann. After her passing, I needed time. Alone time. I needed time to just be "still" and reflect on the beauty God was weaving into this tapestry of our life. I needed time to pull my chicks (my kids) in real close and not spend time thinking about what my next blog post would look like. Blogging through my pregnancy with Sophie Ann was extremely exhausting, but I never regret one day of it. Her story touched hundreds of thousands of people in over 26 countries around the world. But, I knew that I was tired and my mind and body needed rest. I decided to take my blog private and do updates less often.

In February of 2009, I journaled publicly about our journey to China to bring home our beautiful daughter, Lily. It was a good thing. I wanted the world to see the need for orphan rescue. It was my hope that it would encourage one family to take a leap of faith and begin the journey of adoption. And it did. Many times over!! But, when we returned home from our trip, I felt like we needed to go private again while we watched God weave even more beauty into our tapestry while we struggled with attachment and other post adoption issues. I opened up our lives for a few readers and it was good. I needed that time. Time to focus on my new little one who needed me more than ever.

So. Here we are. 2011. And our family has grown to 6!! We added a new addition to our crew in July of 2010.....sweet little Hope! We now fill up that swagger wagon we bought a few years back! Life is good. God has been so faithful and gracious to us.

And I am pretty sure I am here to stay....in this world of blogging.

And. I am a little nervous. Because I know that I am ONE. BIG. OPEN. BOOK. And the world is going to get a sneak peak inside our life. Uh...can we say, scary?

I have lots to write about. So many things to say. And I am ready to get this thing started!!

So if you would, go on over to the side bar and become a follower. No need to be a stalker. Don't make me put one of those blog trackers up. K? Thanks.

I will see you again soon....my next several posts will be a very detailed journey of our very recent medical diagnosis for Lily. This is actually one of the very reasons I am starting this blog, in hopes that other moms can find some help through my process of dealing with the medical field/insurance companies etc. It has been a long, long, process and I look forward to connecting with other mothers going through similar circumstances!

Until next time,